Sidney Crosby

Sidney Patrick Crosby (born for the first time on December 25, 1 BC, in a small manger in Bethlehem, and then again on August 7, 1987, in Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia, Canada) is a professional ice hockey player for the NHL's Pittsburgh Penguins. He was the first pick of the 2005 NHL Entry Draft and one of the leading scorers during the 2005-06 NHL season finishing 6th in scoring with 102 points (39 G, 63 A), though some believe that to be a farce, as he was playing with one hand taped behind his back in order to bring himself down to the talent level around him.

Ironically, when Sidney was born, hockey did not even exist, in spite of the fact that he was predestined to excel at the game. Because he was originally born in such a warm, middle-eastern climate, he decided it best to put himself to sleep for nearly 2000 years to wait for history's great explorers to discover and inhabit Canada.**

Currently, Mr. Crosby acts as a daily distraction around the 400lb.offices - in the form of You Tube videos, Fantasy Hockey and game day Penguins updates.

**The above bio was lovingly co-opted from The Sports Argument Wiki